Beep Beep Beep Mwahaha

This is my alarm clock.

That's how it looks in the afternoon, here's a more accurate portrayal of it during morning hours.

 For obvious reasons, such as the creepy eyebrows, I don't get along well with my evil morning, Dr. Hyde loving alarm clock. Besides that, it is clear to see that my alarm clock has no vested interest in my well being or punctuality. Instead of encouraging me to wake up and explore the world, it plays mean, childish tricks on me. See for yourself.   

For example, evil alarm clock has the ability to embed it's beeping sound into my very subconscious! As I lay there, innocently dreaming of an awesome new robot friend, evil alarm clock mocks me. The insistent beeping is mutated into a cheerful conversation about circuits and waffles, and I do not second guess it's nature.  He knows that in the near future, I will wake up panicked, spill hot coffee, wear mismatched socks, and trip up the stairs due to his mind altering powers of dream hijacking, and he DOES NOT CARE. 

Sometimes evil alarm clock doesn't insert beeping into my dreams. Sometimes he doesn't make beeping noises at all! He silently watches over me as I sleep, maliciously laughing to himself. This cruel setup almost always results in tears and profanity.

Other times, evil alarm clock jolts me out of my rem cycle instantaneously with shrieking noises that send my mind into a disconcerting frenzy. "Fire?" "Aliens?" "GIANT LIZARDS CRUSHING MY HOUSE??" "WHAT IS HAPPENING???!!!" This is very painful trick, and increases my heart rate exponentially.

As you can see, I am in very real danger each morning by using this device. My vulnerable, lethargic body is at the mercy of this barbaric contraption. To be honest, you might be in jeopardy too! I expose you to these truths only so that you can be aware. I urge you to take whatever precautions that you feel are necessary, and save your inner soul. It can get a bit ugly, but I have faith that you can do the right thing.