The Chocolate Cake Resolution

Ahh, January. Take a second, and breathe in the deep smell of resolutions in the air. It’s a new year, new start, etc.  I can definitely see the attraction for them.  Looking back, it’s easy to see where things went smoothly, crumbled apart, or simply maintained. If you could just stick to a few simple agreements this time around, then this next stage of your life would be better somehow. However, it must be said that I, for one, completely suck at the entire resolution process.

Making resolutions for the New Year is like having a focused psychological pep talk in your mind, only everyone else around you is doing the exact same thing, at the exact same time, using the exact same wording. You all wind up at some gathering, and some thoughtless guest brought ridiculous brownies with them, and you all stare at her like she’s trying to pass out leprosy, stammer out a ‘No, thank you.” You glance sideways at one another, mutter something about your various resolutions, and eat your fingernails instead. Until February that is; or March, if you’re really disciplined. Or if you’re me, January 1^st, mid-afternoon. To the 3% of you that can actually manage to make a resolution that lasts the entire year, either you're resolutions are ridiculously easy, like 'I will breathe', or else you are one resolute being, in which case I tip my hat to you. 

In general, if I set myself up for a rule regarding anything to do with weight or food, I will, within that same hour, find myself eating a chocolate cake. I just dislike the idea of being bossed around by anyone, least of all myself. I can perform the greatest self-sabotage this side of the Mississippi. ‘Oh, what was that? You say you want to drink more water? Ha! I’ll show you! You’ll never drink water again! Mwahaha!’

It is, however, not limited to food.  ‘You say you want to save money? Oh, okay, yeah RIGHT! We’re going to buy everything in the entire world!!!’ Organization, spending time with family, quitting something, starting something new, I will find a way to do the exact opposite. And it doesn’t work to switch tactics and make my resolutions initially the opposite of what I actually want. Reverse psychology doesn’t work on me, by me. I’m just way too smart for myself.

I’m not too worried about my lack of resolution making/keeping skills. The really good things in my life have always come about unplanned. There is no possible way I could have designed my life in any such way that any action on my part would cause these things to appear.  I figure if I can just manage not to mess things up too badly, I’ll be lucky enough to keep wonderful people around me. That keeps me busy enough some days! 

Ultimately, events will transpire throughout the coming year that will push you into becoming the person you need to be. People will show up and weave themselves seamlessly into your life, making you wonder at how you managed before them. Decisions will be made that you couldn’t foretell, even if your life depended on it. You’ll get offers, make purchases, and hopefully have a good time doing it.

To all of you, I wish you the best for the coming year. Whether you decide to stick to formal resolutions or just wing it, I hope that you have the opportunity and the guts to make this year everything it should be. Oh, and if you ever find me alone in a kitchen with a chocolate cake, don’t bother joining me. I won’t share. Hey, now that would be a resolution I could keep!