Whenever I'm given some sort of assignment to complete, I generally take a bit of artistic license in how I choose to complete it. I mean, brilliance, talent, success, it's all about your perspective. And believe me; I've got plenty of perspective. Currently I am working on a personal narrative. Well, to be completely honest, I actually "almost done" with it. "Almost done" is a code I came up with that translates to, "I have absolutely no idea what to do, and have no physical product to show for my hours spent racking my exhausted brain for something to write about". (It's a really efficient code.)
A personal narrative is supposed to capture a unique story about an individual; A captivating story about overcoming great odds, or a triumphant tale of exploring the world, or even something as basic as sharing your collection of 275 pieces of bellybutton lint that you've collected from strangers. But instead of a story, I have a problem. I don't see myself as overcoming any particularly unusual circumstances, and being broke impedes my ability to travel in a slew of exotic places, and I don't, I repeat don't, collect bellybutton lint. That's just awkward, and I wouldn't have any good places to store it.
My problem is that I have absolutely n o t h i n g. Nothing to write about. Nothing to share. Nothing of interest that sets me apart from the masses. I think it's beginning to give me a slight complex. Every situation I find myself in, I'm sampling the environment. Is THIS going to be my story? The harder I force it, the more pathetic my quest starts to look, and at this point, even I am worrying that my "almost done" code won't hold up when it's time to turn the damn thing in.
A major factor in my problem is that I keep wanting to write about things that aren't true. I'm not a liar; I just think that the stories in my head are way more exciting than anything I can come up with in reality. I've been wrestling with this issue for months, cramming my brain into the small space where truth and fact exist, and I've come up short, every, single, time. And I'm tired of it.
Therefore, I am granting myself permission to post my wonderful, hypothetical, outrageously false personal narrative ideas here. If anything, I'll be excited to just imagine I've done all of these crazy, beautiful things. Seriously though, if you can think of anything at all I can actually use as a springboard for my real project, I will give you something wonderful. Like a handful of chocolate chips. Mmmm...think it over as you witness my tragedy first hand.
Idea #1: Forget world travel, say hello to the space age! This potential narrative highlights my trip to Mars, where I befriended local Martians and basically saved planet Earth from intergalactic warfare.
Idea #2: Here, I will talk about my commitment to the community, and the importance of volunteer work. I focus in on me singing the Kit Kat jingle at a senior center.
Idea #3: What about a real tear jerker? In this plot, I am able to get hired for a job position, despite the fact that I have one major weakness: I care too much!
Idea #4: Choosing something really important to me is a snap when I use this story of when I traveled to a remote jungle. While I was there, I discovered the Unisauras! Wow, what a special day!
Pretty great, huh? If I could even develop ONE of these ideas into my personal narrative, I swear I would. I'd have it written, storyboarded, and outlined in glitter by the end of the week. I'd even put a bow on it. But no, it needs to be a grounded, detailed, emotionally transforming story about the real me. The real me that hasn't done any of those things. And the things I have been able to accomplish in real life, pale in comparison to the virtual playground my mind has built.
Therefore, I am enlisting your help, bribing you with delicious commodities, begging you to provide me with a viable person narrative topic, in order to prevent this:
Hi, my name is Nicklebee, and here is my personal narrative. (clears throat) I like to eat chicken nuggets sometimes. (cough) I eat other things too. Like bananas. (long pause) I am the creator of a multi-faceted code language. I would share it with you, but it isn't finished. Don't worry, it's "almost done". (Runs away fighting back tears of shame and failure.)
Remember: a handful of chocolate chips!
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